you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
