that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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