I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
