I bet he comes in French.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
