whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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