On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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