2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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