I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
