It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
