I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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