wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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