not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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