i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
