your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
