how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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