It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
