so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
