I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
