let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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