You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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