Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Randomize
