Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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