what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
