it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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