you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
