I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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