highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
