Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
