My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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