if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
