Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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