I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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