He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize