Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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