I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
