definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
