Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
