i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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