see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
