Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize