Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
