SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.