Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"