Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator