Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.