I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
