Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
