just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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