i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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