He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my being single is dangerous.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
