Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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