Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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