just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
