I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize