he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
