just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
