Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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