garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
