Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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