Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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