you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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